


This Love of Mine

by Watea18



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jopper, Pre-Series, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watea18/pseuds/Watea18
Summary: When Joyce experiences a sudden and devastating loss she seeks comfort in her unlikely neighbour, Jim Hopper. Can the uncanny pair set aside their differences and give in to their hidden desires? Or will Jim Hopper always remain the boy next door?A past fic set in 1961. Joyce and Hopper are still in High School.
Relationships: Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	1. Fall of 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is inspired by the scene where Hop says something about the last suicide being in the fall of 61. I thought it would be an interesting take if said suicide was related to Joyce. So, very important trigger warning, there will be mention of suicide throughout. 
> 
> So, this is set in 1961. Hopper and Joyce are High School Seniors. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> “This love of mine goes on and on, though life is empty since you’re gone.”

The wind was blasting its cruel whistling song during the fall of 61’ in Hawkins, Indiana. The cry of the tree branches protested its wrath. The windows were forced to dance against the pane. A fog had smothered Hawkin’s Sky and Joyce Horowitz was sure it never left since that day. October 12th. A date that was carved into her mind. A date that was carved into stone. The day that the wind stole the town of Hawkins. The day the town stole her brother’s life.

Although she remembered the fog and the wind, she couldn’t remember much else from that day. It was like the curtains had been drawn over her eyes and left her in darkness. Her mother’s tear stained face was still a prominent picture; the words she said were muffled in Joyce’s memory. Just a ringing in her ears as if a bomb had exploded right in her home. And she supposed it had. 

On October 12th 1961, Johnathan Raymond Horowitz died from a drug overdose at 19 years old. No matter how much Susan, their mother, tried to convince herself it was an accident, there was really no two ways about it. Johnny had committed suicide. A bottle of empty aspirin in his palm. His head smashed against the side of the tub. A seizure. No note. No reason. No goodbye. Just gone. 

Gone. Gone. Gone. Those words looped tauntingly around her mind for weeks after. Every time she woke from a dream, she entered into her nightmare. A crushing weight on her chest when she remembered. Johnny was gone. He was just there though, just speaking to her in her dreams. She could smell him, feel him, hear him. At least, she imagined she could. Because the truth of the matter was, she’d near be able to do those things again. No more late night conversations over unfiltered cigarettes in the backyard after her parents had fallen asleep. No more teasing at the breakfast table about her on-and-off again boyfriend, Lonnie. No more ‘goodnight’s. No more ‘good morning’s. No more tomorrow. No more Johnny. 

Due to the circumstance, and her parents liberal religious beliefs, the family opted against sitting shiva. Most, if not all, of Hawkins were Christian, Susan, her mother, didn’t want to make them ‘uncomfortable.’ Joyce thought it was pathetic to compromise for these superficial people, but didn’t care to protest. Johnny didn’t believe in anything anyway. He wouldn’t have wanted it. 

Instead, dressed in black, a very small portion of the already small town surrounded a casket as it was lowered into the ground. Joyce’s stomach turnt when she thought of her brother’s body laying there. Her gut told her to scream, told her to get him out before he’s buried in there forever. Thankfully, logic won out. She instead sobbed into her handkerchief and clasped her mother’s arm for dear life. 

Suicide wasn’t a common cause of death in Hawkins, in fact she believed it may have been ranked lower than an animal attack, maybe even random combustion. The town didn’t know how to handle it. The religious nuts had their views, of course. Many didn’t attend, but sent an assortment of flowers in their absence. It’s not like she noticed who wasn’t there anyway. Her focus lay more so on who had made the effort to attend. One person in particular caught her eye...Jim Hopper. 

Jim lived next door, had been there before they moved here in 1950. From what Johnny had said before this tragedy struck, he was fond of Hopper. Joyce couldn’t wrap her head around why, necessarily. They were polar opposites. Jim was a popular kid, had more friends than he had sense. A mischievous teenage who still managed to get good grades. He was on the wrestling team, even once was head of Debate. A ladies man, specifically Chrissy Carpenter’s man. The superficial barbie doll whom Joyce despised. For those reasons, she wasn’t as fond of ol’ Jimmy boy.

If she was being honest with herself, she didn’t dislike Jim- there were a few times he had shown her that there was more to him than meets the eye- but it was principle that she couldn’t like him. Lonnie and Jim were rivals, had been since the 7th grade. As loyalty to her man, despite his lack thereof to her, she couldn’t fraternise with the enemy. On the day of Johnny’s funeral though, that was the last thing on her mind. 

She couldn’t be sure how long she was sitting there, completely disassociating from her surroundings, but the presence of someone beside her drew her back to reality. To her surprise, Jimmy Hopper slunk down on her couch in his black suit and tie. He didn’t look at her, just stared ahead into the sea of people floating around her living room. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry… I’m really sorry about your loss, Joycie.” 

If she wasn’t so numb, she’d have probably laughed at the use of her familial nickname. No one but her parents and Johnny called her Joycie, and if they did she’d usually smack em upside the head. She didn’t have the energy for that today. She’d let him off this time. 

Glancing at the side of his face, she was taken aback when she noticed the sincerity that resided in his hard eyes. They seemed regretful, pained even, to have to be saying those words. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His hands clasped between his long legs. She had never seen him like this before. 

When she didn’t respond, he leant forward. For a moment she thought he was going to get up and leave her, but instead he took a deep breath. 

“Johnny is- Johnny was one of the best guys this town had to offer.” His long began to bounce nervously. “Of course, you already knew that.” 

This caught Joyce’s full attention, her body turning to face the lanky teenage boy. Her brows furrowed as her eyes roamed his face, trying to gauge whether this was genuine or just some sort of scripted condolence that everyone gave at funerals. The tight set of his jaw and the heaviness of his eyes suggested the former. 

“How do you- wait- what makes you say that?” Joyce shook her head. “I’ve never seen you say more than a coupla words to Johnny.” 

Jim laughed despite himself, sparing her a sideways glance. “Of course not, you’re too busy with your greas- your boyfriend. Johnny and I share smokes in the backyard.” 

It was a strange concept, her brother and Jim Hopper sitting on their back porch passing a smoke back and forth. Johnny was anti-social to his core. What possessed him to speak to the larger than life kid sat beside her was beyond her, 

Joyce’s neck reeled back, not sure she could believe what she was hearing. “You...and Johnny?” 

A ghost of a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, finally turning to face her. “Yeah, Johnny. Something about talking with a person late at night really helps you get to know em, huh?” 

Joyce smiled at this, despite the pain in her chest, understanding it all too well. If it wasn’t for her brother’s erratic sleeping habits, she wasn’t sure they’d be as close as they were. At night Johnny appeared to be most alive. He’d teach her about the constellations, reminisce on their past, share secrets. God, it hurt to think about it. But it was kinda comforting knowing someone else was going to be missing that too.

Before Joyce could respond, Lonnie entered the house. Not only was he late, he turned up wearing a leather jacket and black jeans, she almost rolled her eyes. She supposed It was better late than never. Without another word, Jim stood up from the couch, knowing it was best Lonnie didn’t see them talking together. Before he could walk away, Joyce delicately took hold of his wrist. 

Slightly taken aback, he turned to look down at her expectantly. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, Jim.”


	2. Little Johnny Horowitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim finds out about Johnny from his mother. A change in perspective to show Hopper’s side of things. 
> 
> Again, trigger warning; mentions of suicide. 
> 
> “You’re always on my mind, though out of sight. It’s lonesome through the day, but, oh, the night.”

To this day Jim Hopper could remember exactly where he was when he found out about the tragic death of Johnathan Horowitz. He believed it was a Saturday because he’d just finished tinkering with his Dad’s Oldsmobile in the garage. In Jim’s typical fashion, he slugged into the living room, threw himself on the sofa with a newspaper and root beer in hand. Just as he had settled in, feet up, head resting on the arm of the couch, Linda Hopper came stumbling up to the doorway. 

The heavyset woman gripped onto the doorframe, her face paled, her disorientation striking him as nausea. He was on his feet and beside her in seconds, leading her to the armchair. 

“Ma, are you alright?” 

Hop was beyond concerned, crouching before her. His blue eyes were searching hers, but she looked lost. Finally, her composure appeared to return as she gripped Jim’s face between gentle hands. Her thumb caressed his cheek as tears brimmed her eyes, almost as if she was making sure he was still there, still alive. 

“Ma, what’s going on?” His voice rose, worry building in his chest. 

“Jimmy… my Jimmy boy.” She sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes before they had a chance to fall. “It’s little Johnny Horowitz.” 

The fair boy’s brows furrowed, head reeled back in confusion. What about the boy next door had gotten his mother in such a state? He momentarily wondered if he had hurt her, but the thought disappeared as quickly as it came. Johnathan couldn’t hurt a fly. 

“Jimmy, he’s dead.” She shook her head in disbelief, losing herself again. “Little Johnny Horowitz is dead.” 

Jim felt a blow land to his chest, almost knocking him to the floor. Heart stopped. Johnny was only 19 years old. What did she mean he was dead? He was just with him Thursday night, they were in the backyard smoking… how can he just be dead like that? It didn’t make sense.

“W-what happened?” 

His mother clenched her eyes closed, repeatedly shaking her head. “Suicide, Jimmy. Joyce said suicide.” 

“You spoke to Joyce?” He shot up at the mention of his classmate. 

He couldn’t even begin to imagine the state she must’ve been in. From what Johnny had told him, the pair were best friends. She had just lost her brother and her best friend. The thought of such immense grief made him feel physically sick. 

No wonder his mother looked so pained. She was hurting for Johnny’s mother, imagining the heartbreak she must be going through. No one should lose a kid. 

“Barely.” The distraught woman sighed. “Poor girl was like a zombie. I went to throw the trash out and she was sitting on her lawn, smoking a cigarette. I had to ask if she was okay.” Linda explained. Jim gave a slow nod. “Then, she just told me. The words just fell out of her mouth, like she wasn’t even really saying them.” 

Jim hung his head, shaking it lightly in disbelief.  
That poor girl. That poor family. Poor old Johnny. 

A sudden surge of guilt knotted his stomach. A responsibility as a friend to have made sure this didn’t happen. How could he have not seen the signs? They spoke almost every night while sharing a smoke and not once did he see this coming. Suicide just didn’t happen in Hawkins. Nothing happened in Hawkins. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How can he just be gone? 

After the funeral, Joyce was absent from class for a while. The rest of the world just seemed to move on. They held an assembly for Johnny in the gymnasium, even though he had already graduated. No mention of suicide though. That was far too taboo. 

His friends hardly mentioned it, they didn’t know Jim had any connection with Johnny other than being neighbours. Chrissy made a remark that she wasn’t shocked, said he was a weirdo. It took the gentle giant all his might not to rage at her. He told her she had no idea what she was talking about and walked away. Tragedy seems to show people’s true colours. None of his friend’s, besides Benny Hammond, seemed to have any compassion for the boy. He wondered, if he hadn’t taken the time to get to know him, would he have been so callous?

Admittedly, the Horowitz were…different. They were the only Jewish family in town. They kept to themselves, Jim wasn’t sure he had ever even heard Mr Horowitz speak. They were good people though, of that he was sure. Johnny had told him Joyce spent her Sunday evenings at the children’s hospice, reading to them and having a ‘dance party.’ It took a while to grasp that the girl who dated Lonnie Byers would be so kind, but he supposed only a sweet person would be able to put up with such a horrible little rat. 

It was roughly a week after the funeral when Jim was laying in his bed, throwing a baseball in the air and catching it with his glove while listening to his records. His parents had popped in to say goodnight. It must almost be time. 

Every night since the funeral, at roughly 10 o’clock, he would see Joyce sitting on her back porch smoking a cigarette. He had tried to work up the courage to go down to her, providing her the company she had lost. Of course, he couldn’t replace Johnny, they were big shoes to fill. Yet, for reasons beyond him, he felt a pull in his gut towards her. A need to be there for her. 

After multiple failed attempts, tonight was the night he would go down there. He wrapped his housecoat over his plaid pyjama pants and vest, wedged his enormous feet into a pair of slippers, and forced himself out the back door. The autumn air hit him, immediately his bones shook with protest. He refused to turn back. He’d already gotten so far. 

Crossing the threshold between their lawns, he saw Joyce sat on her patio, sucking on the butt of her smoke. She hadn’t noticed him, her head tilted up towards the sky, a small smile pulling on her full lips. 

He had always thought it, though he’d deny it if asked, but Joyce Horowitz was a beauty. Everything about her face was like a magnetic force that attracted his eyes. Sometimes he couldn’t look at her in fear he’d end up staring for too long.

The entire school knew she was the prettiest girl there, but no one would admit it. She was too bossy, too opinionated. It intimated the boys to the point of repulsion. Not Jimmy though. Her attitude thrilled him. 

“Mind if I join ya?” 

Joyce almost jumped out of her seat at the sound of his baritone voice. She span around to face him, clutching her chest in panic. He smirked at the image before him. She could be straight out of a Hollywood picture. 

“Uhh...be my guest.” She replied once gaining composure, gesturing towards the lawn chair beside her. 

The lanky boy plopped down into the chair, his long legs jutting up amusingly. He looked like a cartoon character. All legs and arms. In comparison she was like a Hobbit, so cute and compact. A small girl with large features. Together they looked like a caricature drawing. 

She was silent as he lit up his cigarette. He wondered what she was thinking, if maybe she wished he hadn’t disturbed her peace. It was no secret that Joyce wasn’t a fan of Hopper. Why would she be? The jock was in constant conflict with her deadbeat boyfriend, he could sometimes be loud and cocky, and it wasn’t like he was ignorant to her glares. Something about her though, something about her whole family even, made him want to be better. He couldn’t say why. 

He inhaled a puff of smoke. “How you holding up?” He blew it out. 

She glanced over at him, a look in her large brown eyes that he couldn’t decipher. Was it gratitude? Was it irritation? In the darkness, he couldn’t quite tell. 

She shrugged. “I’m…” her head bowed between her shoulders. “I don’t know.” 

Hopper frowned. He reached out to touch her, but retracted his hand in fear he’d startle her. 

They’d only ever really had a handful of conversations, despite living next door to each other for the past 10 years. The tiny brunette had always been too reserved to get through to. Talking to her was like pulling teeth. So he gave up, and so did half of Hawkins High. The only friend she seemed to have was Karen Johnson, which was an odd friendship if there was one. Karen was bubbly and outgoing, always the life of the party. Joyce was on the other end of the spectrum. Maybe that’s how it balanced out. 

“I’m really sorry, Joyce.” He settled with. “I miss him too.” 

She smiled at this, a tight shaky smile that threatened tears. He didn’t notice any fall. 

“That’s nice to hear.” She sniffled. “He didn’t have many friends. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who misses him.” 

He took a deep breath. “It’s a shame they didn’t take the time to get to know him.”

She nodded. “Sometimes I envy them...I-I envy that they don’t feel this agony in their hearts.” Her voice croaked as she clutched the collar of her night gown. “But then I know I-I’d rather feel this...than to have never known him.” 

Hopper’s heart felt as though it had cracked a little, her words piercing through his thick skin. He was overwhelmed with a need to comfort her, but he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Joyce has always reminded him of a deer, with her doe like wide eyes and shiny brown hair. But mostly because she seemed skittish, always on-edge as if the world was out to get her. She would run at the slightest sign of danger. He didn’t want his compassion to be mistaken as a threat. And still he didn’t want his caution to be mistaken for indifference. 

“Joyce, I can’t pretend that I know what you’re feeling- I don’t- but I wish I could help somehow.” He leant forward, his eyes soft and almost pleading. 

She snorted, wiping away a few stray tears with the sleeve of her housecoat. “Jim, I appreciate it, but you don’t even know me. Why do you suddenly care?” 

The pretty brunette’s words made him fall back against the lawn chair. She had a point. To her, this new found concern seemed to sprout from pity, but that wasn’t completely true. He couldn’t explain it, but he’d always had an eye out for the younger Horowitz. May be rooted from the first day he met her, when they were only 8 years old. He’d never met such a coy girl before. He wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking she was that same innocent, shy girl as she was back then. He’d heard around school that she could be a spitfire. Still, he couldn’t switch off this need to protect her.

He shrugged and puffed on his cigarette, staring out into the forest that lined her backyard. 

“I’d be an emotionless son-of-a-bitch if I didn’t.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Johnny told me a lot about you… I already feel like I know you, Joycie.” 

Joyce let out a half-scoff, half-laugh. “You gotta stop calling me that.” 

His brows furrowed, a smirk tugging the edge of his lips. There was that spitfire he’d heard about. 

“Calling you what? Joycie? But that’s your name.”

Joyce glared at him, sensing the teasing in his tone. The irritation in her eyes made him chuckle, her deadpan dying at the sound of his laugh, unable to fight a smile any longer. 

“No one calls me Joycie, only Johnny and my parents.”

Jim held the cigarette to his lips, focusing on the deathly stick. “Might wanna add me to that list.” 

He knew he was being smug, most girls saw it as part of the charm. He knew this particular lady was going to be a much harder nut to crack. 

She pretended to consider it, pursing her lips to the side and tapping her finger against her chin. “No, I don’t think I do. Unless you won’t mind me calling you... Hop?” She sent him a challenging glare. 

His eyes narrowed on to hers, a shadow of a smile growing on their faces. “Matter of fact, Joycie, I prefer it.”


	3. A Fool to Want You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I cry my heart out, it’s bound to break.”

Joyce hated to admit it, but ever since Jim shared a cigarette with her in the yard early that week, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. At tug of war with herself, she debated whether he had ulterior motives, wondered when that arrogance of his was going to rear its ugly head again. If it was genuine though, she was just as fearful. Was she willing to let Hopper into her life when she had kept him at bay for so long? She couldn’t. Lonnie would kill her. Hawkins High rumour mill would go crazy. Besides, did she really need anymore friends?

The answer to that was simple, actually. Yes, yes she did. Despite Karen being her only friend, the sentiment wasn’t returned. Sure, they were very close, but Karen had more than a few close friends. A drifter of sorts, accompanying whoever benefited her, depending on the day. So, for the most part, Joyce was alone. Especially now Johnny was gone. 

Of course, the day Joyce returned to school, Karen was attached to her side. She may have been fickle, but she was far from heartless. Joyce had asked Karen not to mention her brother in order to get through the day without a break down. The pretty blonde accepted it without question. 

Instead, Karen, the town cryer, filled her in with the hot gossip. Joyce was grateful for the distraction. Especially when she mentioned that Chrissy and Jimmy seemed to be on the rocks. The doe eyed girl pretended not to have any personal investment in the news, but couldn’t help but dig further. Karen didn’t have all the answers, shrugged it off as if it was nothing new, which it wasn’t. Chrissy and Jimmy broke up every month. Still, this time it actually meant something to Joyce. This time she cared. 

It wasn’t until lunch when Joyce ran into Jim. Well, that was a stretch to say. They merely passed each other in the cafeteria. Jim smiled at her and nodded his head, she returned the gesture. It was barely anything, but it was progress.

“Okay, what’s going on there?” Karen teased as they took their seats at a table towards the back of the cafeteria. 

Joyce furrowed her brows, feigning ignorance. “What’s going on where?” 

“You and Jim Hopper just smiled at each other. You hate him.” 

Joyce rolled her eyes. “I never said I hate him.”

Karen gasped, amusement twinkling in her brown eyes. “You like Jim Hopper?” 

Joyce shrugged. “He’s not as bad as I initially thought. You saw him at Johnny’s funeral, it was nice of him to come and pay his respects.”

Karen nodded, a look of pity taking over her at the mention of Johnny. “Of course.” There was a beat of silence before a light bulb struck in her mind and a smile pinged to her lips. “Is that why you’re so interested in his current love life?”

Joyce scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. “I am not interested in his love life.” 

Karen grinned mischievously, nodding slowly at the petite girl. Joyce could almost see the clogs turning in her head. “Sure you’re not.” 

Joyce sent her a warning glare. “Karen Johnson, if you start meddling, I swear to God! Lonnie can’t hear about this. If he thinks I’m friends with Hop he’s gonna kill me.” 

Karen furrowed her brows. “Hop? You even have nicknames now?” 

Joyce scowled, “Karen.” 

“I’m kidding! My lips are sealed.” She mimicked zipping her mouth closed before she began chewing on her carrot sticks. “Hop.” She laughed to herself. “Like a little bunny rabbit?”

Joyce chortled. “I guess so.”

“Not fitting.” Karen mused as she caught sight of the oversized teenage boy from across the cafeteria. 

Joyce looked over her shoulder, watching as her neighbour pretended to shove a celery stick up Benny Hammond’s nose and rolled her eyes at his buffoonery. “Not at all.” 

To say Jim was pleased to see Joyce back at school was a bit of an understatement. Once he spotted her from across the cafeteria, meandering with the Johnson girl, he knew he had to get her attention somehow. Discreetly, he coaxed Benny to walk past the pair. His heart racing as she acknowledged him back.

A colour had seemed to return to her face. A twinkle of life had sparked in her eyes again. Whether it would remain, he wasn’t sure. Nothing about dealing with loss was certain. Not that he really knew, he’d only ever lost his Grandparents, and he was just a child when that happened. But, he knew, even to this day, some nights his mother cried for her parents. And he was sure she always would. 

It’s lonely in this world when you lose someone you love. 

Jim tried his best not to stare at the back of Joyce’s head as he sat on the other side of the cafeteria. He didn’t want anyone to notice his new found interest in the Horowitz girl. Especially after the way he had reacted when Chrissy had spoken so thoughtlessly about her brother. Rumours would start. Chrissy would react irrationally, accusing him of absurd things like always. This was nothing. It was merely a caring neighbour looking out for another. Just being friendly and supportive...Or so he told himself.

Fortunately, his pals didn’t notice his distraction, and they continued on with their typical tomfoolery. Next time he glanced up, she was gone. Out of sight, but not out of mind. 

The rest of the day he found himself searching for her face amongst the crowd. To no avail. He hoped she was okay, that she’d made it through the day. His concerns were negated when he spotted her small frame from across the parking lot. Unfortunately, beside her, with his greasy jelly roll, being an actor as he always was, stood Lonnie Byers. Flicking up the collar of his leather jacket, smoking from his deck of Luckies.

“Can’t even smoke straights. What a Nancy.” Hopper scoffed. 

Benny was stood beside him, glaring at Byers with the same irritation. He didn’t even go to their High School anymore. The greaser had been kicked out, instead started working at his Father’s auto shop in traditional greaser fashion. All they cared about was fast girls and fast cars. No real purpose to em, but to be absolute assholes. 

“He thinks he’s a cat. I don’t know what Joycie sees in him.” Jim bitterly spat as he began lighting up a cigarette. 

Benny let out a disbelieving laugh. “Why you so concerned with Joyce Horowitz? You trynna bird dog Lonnie Byers?” 

Jim playfully barged Benny’s side, scoffing at him as if such assumption was ridiculous. “Cool it, Hammond. I’m just making a point. That Byers is trash. Joycie’s a good girl.” He shrugged. “It don’t make sense to me is all.” 

Benny threw his hands up, relenting. “Hey, I wouldn’t blame you if you were. She’s cute. And if she’s with Lonnie Byers she’s bound to be fast.” 

Hopper scowled at his larger friend, shoving him slightly. “Don’t talk about her like that.” 

Benny gasped, striding to keep pace with Hopper who was marching over to his GTO. “Oh my God! Jimmy boy is crushing on little Joyce Horowitz. I never thought I’d see the day.” 

Jim glared at Benny from over the top of the car, his teeth still gripping on to his cigarette. “You want a ride home, Hammond? Cause I’ll happily leave you here.” He hissed.

“Relax, Jim. I’m just yanking your chain.” 

The taller boy’s teasing grin still present on his excited face. 

“Get in the car and shut up before I change my mind.” 

That night, Jimmy lay awake, tossing and turning. A vivid picture of Joyce in his mind along with those haunting words ‘Jimmy boy is crushing on little Joyce Horowitz.’ There was no way he could be. He barely even knew the girl. The boy had only spoken to her a handful of times. Plus, he was dating Chrissy Carpenter, she was the hottest girl in Hawkins. What would possess him to take a romantic interest in the loner from next door. 

Then, he thought of her eyes, imagining her as she passed by him earlier that day. Remembering how they seemed to shine at him. Not to mention that smile, her cute coy smile and perfect pearly whites. But beyond the way she looked, she seemed like a sweetheart too. Oh boy, he was screwed. Surely it was just a phase, maybe it was just his testosterone kicking in. His innate need to protect the meek, especially one so pretty… there he goes again. 

At first he thought he was imagining it, the rustling sound from outside. He thought that maybe his sleep deprived mind was hearing what it wanted to hear. It was almost 2 in the morning, there was surely no way Joyce was out in her yard at this hour. Or was there? 

Jim crawled out of bed and over to his bedroom window, spying through the blinds to see a familiar brunette in a pink robe sitting on her porch. He battled with himself on whether he should go out there. Would she think it was weird? Would she finding his presence annoying like she always had before Johnny passed? He didn’t let these questions plague his mind any longer and threw caution to the wind. You never know if you don’t try. 

“You mind if I join ya?” Hopper’s gruff, tired voice spoke from behind her. 

She span around to face him, this time with less fright and more confusion. 

“S-sure. What are you doing up so late?” Joyce sniffled, wrapping the robe tighter against her frame. Tonight was colder than the last time they were out here. 

“Couldn’t sleep. You?” He asked, slumping down into the lawn chair beside her. 

“Same.” 

This time, Jim noticed that her eyes were red and puffy, her lips looked chapped and swollen. Whatever spark she had in her eyes earlier that day had diminished. Her resolve had collapsed. It was heartbreaking to see her so upset. 

“Been a rough night?” He gently asked. 

She nodded, pushing her hair behind her right ear and drawing her lips into her mouth.

“Wanna talk about it?” 

She shook her head. “Can we talk about something else?” 

Jim’s heart ached at the sound of her quivering voice. She was on the brink of breaking down, she wanted a distraction, not a therapist. That was fine by him. Like he said, he’d do whatever he could to help her. 

“How was your first day back at school?” He settled with, hoping it was neutral ground. 

Joyce forced a smile, pleased he didn’t push her to open up about things. This was smooth terrain. Her life was so rocky right now that she needed this. 

“It was better than I expected. Was nice catching up with Karen.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Was nice seeing you too.” 

Hopper’s face broke out into a grin, his heart skipping a beat. It wasn’t much, but dammit it gave him butterflies. “Yeah, I was happy to see you too.” 

She blushed, smiling down at her lap. “I heard you and Chrissy were going through a hard time. Is everything alright?” 

The lanky boy’s head reeled back in shock. He didn’t expect that. Yet, he couldn’t really be surprised she’d heard about since she’d been with the queen of gossip, Karen Johnson, all day. 

Clearly noticed the bewilderment on his features, Joyce jumped to apologise for prying, but Jim didn’t really mind. He waved a limp hand, taking a long drag of his cigarette. 

“We’re on a break. I needed some room to breathe for a while.” He shrugged. 

Joyce’s face seemed to fall at this. He was sorry if his answer disappointed her, but it was the truth. Was he going to lie and say he was done with Chrissy forever? No. The look of disappointment, though, did spark a small surge of excitement within him. Could it mean Joycie felt the same way about him as he did her? Maybe he was overthinking it. It was probably just cause Joyce hated Chrissy, which was fact. She was still with Lonnie after all. 

“How’s you and Lonnie?” Jim tried, but he couldn’t hide the displeasure when he said his name. It always left a bad taste in his mouth. 

The slight girl rolled her eyes. “That asshole.” She grunted. 

Jim couldn’t help but smirk at this. Nothing he loved more than hearing people badmouth Lonnie Byers, especially his own girl. 

“You know, sometimes I don’t think he really has any respect for me.” 

Of course Lonnie didn’t respect Joyce, he probably didn’t even respect his own mother. Lonnie was a sleaze. Ever since Joyce and Lonnie started dating a couple years back, there was talk of Lonnie shacking up with some older girl in the city. He knew Joyce knew this, so there was no point rehashing it. Instead, he kept his mouth shut on matters that didn’t concern him. Even if he so badly wanted to trash talk that good for nothing greaser. 

“He told me today that he’ll be in Indianapolis for my birthday.” She threw Jim a disapproving scowl. “He’s lucky I don’t chop his balls off.” 

He chortled at this, choking slightly on his cigarette. “I can help with that.” 

Joyce sent him a smirk and rolled her eyes. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.” 

The concerned boy frowned. “Why not?” 

Joyce sent him a challenging glare. “Cause you’re the enemy.” 

He scoffed, clutching his chest to dramatise his hurt. “The enemy?” 

Joyce tutted. “Lonnie’s enemy.”

Leaning forward slowly, his eyes stared into her own with a flirtatious, yet threatening look. He could see as she gulped, her eyes drifting to his lips, wondering where this was going. 

“If I’m Lonnie’s enemy… and you’re Lonnie’s girl. Where does that leave us?”

“I-I don’t know.” Joyce stammered. “We’re neighbours?” 

Jim raised his brows at her response, a teasing glimmer in his eyes that suggested that he knew something that she didn’t. Or rather, he knew something that she wasn’t willing to admit.

Standing up from the lawn chair, he stubbed the cigarette out under his slippers. She watched his every move as if entranced, waiting with bated breath for what he was to say next. 

“If that’s what you wanna believe, Joycie.” He shrugged. “Catch you tomorrow, Kid.” 

With that, he left her sat there, her mind reeling over his words. If they weren’t just neighbours then what were they? Friends? Was that even possible? She wasn’t sure. She was sure of one thing, though- as her mind was momentarily free from the weight of grief- Hopper was looking to be more help than she’d thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes, feel free to let me know! I don’t always notice, sorry. Thanks for reading!


	4. I’ll Be Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Since nothing matters, let it break.”

It was that time of year again. The time of year when kids knocked on strangers doors. The time of year when families carved faces into pumpkins and put them on their front lawn. The time of year when teenagers smashed said pumpkins and egged people’s doors. It was Hallo-freakin-ween!

Beyond all of that though, it was a time when being different and quirky seemed to be celebrated. For this matter, it was Joyce’s favourite holiday. Up until the age of 14, she had dressed up every year and trick-or-treated around the neighbourhood. It was a sad time when her parents explained that she’d outgrown the tradition. But that didn’t stop her dressing up to hand out candy to those who were, fortunately, young enough to be doing so. 

This year though, it didn’t feel quite as special. Every Halloween, for as long as she could remember, at 9 o’clock, Johnny and Joyce would stick in a rented VHS tape of the most recent scary movie. They’d chow down on the leftover candy and fall into a food coma before the credits rolled. What was she supposed to do without him? 

The answer to that was nothing. She did nothing. She didn’t dress up. She didn’t rent out any movies. She didn’t even leave her bed. Her mother dealt with the trick-or-treaters while Joyce laid in bed, crying until she fell asleep. 

The motion of her body being rocked pulled her from a sleep she wasn’t even aware she’d succumb to. Her mother’s sweet face smiling down at her, the same way she used to when she was a little girl. The flash of nostalgia brought a wave of nausea, knowing things would never be as simple as they were when she was a young girl. How she wished she’d be able to reverse these past few months and live in a time warp where she could see Johnny’s face everyday. 

“Joycie, baby, Jimmy Hopper is at the door.” Susie Horowitz cooed. 

Joyce’s sleepy face scrunched up, thinking she may have misheard her mother. Imagined it even. 

“Who?” She groaned with a lazy stretch, her eyes barely open. 

“Jimmy Hopper, from next door.” 

Joyce’s eyes sprang open. She wasn’t hallucinating. Jim was really at their front door, asking for her? What could he possibly want?

The pair hadn’t spoken for almost 2 weeks. She was sure he’d completely forgotten about her existence. Or rather decided he wanted nothing more to do with her. For what reason? She couldn’t really say. All she did know was that it hurt her more than she cared to admit.

“What does he want?” Joyce’s voice was laced with skepticism. Was she going to go down there and get blasted with eggs? She knew what Jim Hopper was like. He’d TP’d the Principal's house 3 years in a row- never caught of course, ‘cause nothing bad  _ ever  _ happened to James Hopper.

“I don’t know, Joycie.” Her mother tutted, stalking out the room. “Ask him yourself.” 

Joyce rolled her eyes, dragging herself out of bed. When she caught her reflection in the mirror of her vanity, she almost screamed. Her hair was sticking up every which way, her makeup smudged in sleep. Quickly brushing her hair down and wiping away the remnant of her mascara, she shot downstairs. 

Swinging open the door in a hurry, she spotted as Jim appeared to be dismounted the few steps leading up to her door. 

He turned around, a relieved smile spreading on his handsome face. “I thought you were gonna leave me hanging, Horowitz.”

Joyce playfully scoffed. She thought to give a snarky remark about how he’d left her hanging all week, but she bit her tongue. Too tired for an argument, nor did she want him to think she gave a shit whether he spoke to her not. Stroking his ego was not on her agenda tonight. 

But, God, did he look particularly dreamy as he lingered on her front porch. The way his hair was combed over perfectly, his eyes appearing to be a more vibrant blue than usual. And, despite dating a Greaser, she loved a boy in a striped collar shirt and pleated trousers. Even the basic black blouson jacket looked strikingly good on Hop. She wondered why he was dressed up; if he’d just gotten back from a round of backseat bingo with Chrissy in his GTO. That still didn’t explain what he was doing standing on her doorstep, looking like Paul Newman. 

“You busy tonight?” His eyes drifted down to his feet that shuffled awkwardly. 

Joyce’s mouth gaped open and closed again. Her brow quirked, noticing him twitch with anxiety as he waited for her response. 

”Uh. No. No, I’m not busy tonight.” 

He looked back up at her with a coy smirk, scratching the back of his neck. She’d never seen him squirm like this before. It was kinda… amusing.

“They’re reshowing ‘Psycho’ down at the Hawk. I got a spare ticket, if you wanna go?” Hopper pulled a ticket out of his back pocket and waved it enticingly at her. “You know you want to.” He wiggled his bushy brows. 

Joyce playfully rolled her eyes, crossing her arms against her chest. “What time is it showing?” 

“8 o’clock. Meet me at my wagon in 30?” He pouted his lip and lifted his brows.

“See you in 30, Hop.” She dreamily smiled as she began closing the door. 

“Don’t be late, Joycie!” 

Once she closed the door behind her, she had to oppress the need to squeal in excitement. Her cheeks burned from the beaming smile on her face. Her mind reeling over what just happened. Did Jim Hopper just ask her on a date? Wait.

“Lonnie!” She gasped to herself. 

How could she agree to go on a date with Hop when she was going steady with Byers. That was cheating, and she wasn’t a cheat! It was possible she was overthinking it. They were just hanging as friends. Either way, at 7:30, she was leaning on Hopper’s blue GTO, watching as he jogged towards her, looking like he’d walked straight out of a movie screen. 

“Ready, Joycie?” Jim grinned as he opened the passenger side door for her. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Jimmy.” 

The car ride was short, Main Street was only 15 minutes from where they lived. Joyce and Jim teased each other the whole journey, laughing and listening to his Bobby Darin cassette. She couldn’t recall a single time she felt this comfortable with Lonnie. But, all that excitement faded away as soon as Jim pulled up at the Movie Theatre… 

Waiting outside the Hawk was Benny Hammond, John Harrington, Martha Glover, and… Chrissy Carpenter. Joyce face immediately fell, she couldn’t hide her disappointment. She was pissed. He’d brought her to the Hawk to catch a film with Chrissy freakin’ Carpenter? Was he stupid? That was like letting Jim ride backseat at the drive-in with her and Lonnie.

“Why the long face, Horowitz?”

“You didn’t tell me Chrissy would be here.” She glared at him. 

“C’mon, Joycie. You know if I told you, you wouldn’t come.” Jim jumped out the car, not giving her a chance to rebuke. 

“That’s the point.” She muttered to herself. 

Jim opened the passenger door, helping Joyce out before leading her over to his pals. 

As soon as they reached the small group, Joyce could feel Chrissy’s icy stare. Benny and John were pleasant enough, greeting her with a smile. Martha was civil, but she knew well enough that it was fake. No one was particularly psyched that she was there. She wasn’t either, but there was no going back now. 

Joyce’s stomach tied into knots when she saw Jimmy put his arm around Chrissy’s shoulder as they walked into the theatre. Since when did she care if he was back with her? She was with Lonnie after all. But seeing that smug grin on her face as she glanced over her shoulder at Joyce, made her blood boil.

Joyce sat between Benny and Jim in the theatre, Chrissy to his right, his arm still comfortable perched on her shoulders. She was just grateful she didn’t see them necking or she’d have barfed all over her popcorn. Bad enough that Benny was giving her the eye as if he was gonna put some moves on her and John was chucking popcorn around like a child. Times like these, she wondered if she might be better off hanging with the Greasers. 

“How’d you find the film, kid?” Jim nodded to Joyce as they left the Hawk.

His arm still seeming to be glued to the ice queen who scowled at him for even talking to the small brunette. 

“Not bad. Could’ve used a few more stuffed dead animals though.” Joyce facetiously replied. 

Jim laughed, seeming to be the only one to grasp her sarcasm. Or the only one who liked her enough to appreciate it. 

“Anyway,” he sighed “time to head home.” He jutted his head over to the GTO. “You ready, Joycie?”

Chrissy sharply span around to face Jim, shoving his arm off of her narrow shoulders. “Can we talk for a minute, baby? Over there.” 

The blonde almost snapped her neck as she gestured towards the corner of the building. 

“You ever seen that one movie with the handicap spying on the chicks across the street?” John asked as he lit up a smoke. 

“Rear Window?” Joyce quirked an eyebrow, trying not to focus too much on the seemingly heated ‘talk’ Jimmy and his girl were having a few meters away. 

“That’s the one.” John winked. “You like movies, Joyce?” 

Benny, the friendly giant, smacked John in the chest. “Shut Up, John. Of course she likes movies.” 

“I’m just talking to the girl.” He defended.

“Whatever.” Benny tutted. “Sorry about him. He’s a doofus.” 

Joyce smiled, not really bothered to get involved in whatever was going on there. Some weird vie for her attention. Too much testosterone and stupidity for her. 

Jim returned to the group with an obvious look of displeasure on his face while Chrissy stood with her dainty hand on her hip, her cold blue eyes sending Joyce a warning glower. 

“Come on, Joyce.” 

He didn’t open the door for her this time, just jumped in the driver’s side, a scowl on his face and stiff rod in his back. Joyce wasn’t naive, she knew Chrissy had given him a talking to about her. It wasn’t her place to be pissed. She’d know Jim for all of 2 minutes, Chrissy was his girl. If Lonnie was sniffing around some random chick she’d be acting the same way. That didn’t change the fact that she hated the bimbo though.

The car was speeding down the street, an anger in Jim that she’d never seen before. 

“You wanna slow down, pal? We’re already one Horowitz down in this town, don’t need to lose another.” She tried to joke. 

He immediately slowed down, fist tightening around the steering wheel. “That’s not funny, Joyce.” 

“Might not be, but at the rate you were going, it could’ve been true.” She was silent for a moment, analysing the side of his face. His brows lowered, nostrils flared, jaw tense. “Chrissy really pissed you off, huh?” He didn’t respond. “I don’t know what you see in that girl.” 

Jim let out a bitter chuckle. “You don’t know her.” 

Joyce cut her eyes to the roof of the car. “I know enough. All beauty, no brains.” She muttered. 

He shot her a warning look. “Rich coming for the girl dating that low-life Byers.” 

She scoffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Her anger rising to match his own. “Lonnie’s not as bad as that bitch Chrissy. He actually has some redeeming qualities.” 

“Like what?”

She paused, trying to think of something that actually makes her love Lonnie. Her mind was blank. But she couldn’t let Hop win. 

“He’s a good guy, alright? You just don’t know him like I do.” 

“I’m sure I don’t, Joyce.” He rebuked, his tone holding a sharp bite.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She yapped, her eyes ablaze with anger. 

“It  _ means  _ if it _ barks _ , it’s a _ dog _ .” 

“We’ll, sometimes this ‘ _ dog’  _ quacks!” 

A silence fell over the pair, but the air was thick with words they left unsaid. Joyce closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself. She wasn’t sure why she let Hopper’s words get to her. He had a point about Lonnie, but refused to let him be right. If he was going to defend Chrissy, despite the She-devil she was, then she’d do the same for Lonnie, despite the scumbag he was. 

“I’m sorry.” Hopper finally spoke. 

Joyce’s attention darted over to her neighbour, the tension appearing to have fled from him. Instead, what pooled in his blue eyes seemed to be regret. 

It was surprising, having someone be mature enough to apologise after even a small argument. Never had Lonnie done that before, even when he knew he was in the wrong.

“Me too.” She breathed out. “I don’t know Chrissy to say those things.” 

He scoffed. “Fuck Chrissy.” 

The brown eyed girl almost gasped, taken aback by Jimmy’s language. “What?” 

“You heard me.” 

“I guess I did.” Joyce chuckled. 

“I asked her to be nice to you tonight.” He began pulling up into his drive, but made no move to leave the car. “I asked her to be nice and she acted like a bitch. But I’m not surprised.” 

Joyce frowned, turning to face him. He continued to stare out the front window, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.

“If you knew she was going to be a bitch then why would you invite me?” 

Jim chewed on his lower lip, taking a deep breath. “One time, Johnny told me...you spent every Halloween night together, watching scary movies.” Joyce drew her lips into her mouth. “I-I couldn’t stand the thought of you spending it alone tonight.”

Joyce let out a noise that sounded somewhat like a whimper. Her heart swelled with appreciation. No one had ever done something so thoughtful for her before and she had no idea how she could show him how grateful she was. 

Without much of a second thought, she leant across space between them and placed a chaste kiss on his soft cheek. 

As she pulled back, a redness filled his cheeks, his hand cupping his mouth. 

“Thanks, Hop.” She smiled. “I’ll see you around.”

She didn’t give him an opportunity to respond, just jumped out of his car and skipped over to the door. Glancing back, she saw him still sat there, a grin on his handsome face. In that moment, she was sure she had feelings for that goofy, obnoxious boy next door. She had a crush on James Hopper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t edited this yet, wanted to upload it before I went to be. Will be going over it all tomorrow.
> 
> Thank you and goodnight


End file.
